


Three's a Crowd

by GretchenSinister



Series: My Top 20 Short Gen Fics [9]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen, Mpreg, i.e. no one fucked but two people are still pregnant, mythological pregnancy, yes it honestly is gen and mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 00:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "When Pitch hits Jack in the stomach with his shadows after Jack’s refusal to join him, it knocks Jack up.I don’t care how cracky or serious, but it would be interesting to see Jack going through pregnancy pangs and not having a clue what they are. Pitch can get involved with him and the kid/kids or not (but it would be preferred).Bonus:1. MiM getting involved and Jack getting irritated.2. Everyone initially thinking Pitch must have defiled Jack.3. Jack secretly loving all the fussing people are making over him."Jack goes to Bunny because he’s feeling sick and has no idea why. He gets a pretty big surprise. BUT WAIT, you know who else was directly hit with nightmare sand? Yeah you do. Pretty silly, and Pitch does not appear, and no pairings really develop, though my favored one waits in the wings.





	Three's a Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 2/6/2015.

“Jack? What–why did you wait so long to come and talk to me about this?” Bunny says, rushing up to him with a worried expression.  
  
Jack leans heavily on his staff as he stands on the grass of the Warren. He looks grateful, but confused, which only confuses Bunny even more. “I didn’t want to bother you,” he says. “I know you had a lot to clean up after Easter, and,” he shrugs, “I guess I didn’t want you to tease me for adjusting to having believers so poorly. But I’ve been feeling weird and sick for a while now and I just wanted to check and see if there was something I should be doing…”  
  
He looks up to see that Bunny’s frown has grown deeper than ever. “First of all, Jack, I wouldn’t make fun of you for something that made you sick, and second of all…” Bunny takes a deep breath. “Why don’t you come and sit with me for a bit?”  
  
***  
  
“…and so,” Bunny says, solicitously refilling a shocked Jack’s teacup, “I just want to say I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell anyone about this, even after you became a Guardian. I know it must have been difficult, but we would have believed you. I know I behaved poorly when you came up to us with the tooth box, but this would have been different–”  
  
“Bunny,” Jack manages to say. “Hold up. I  _can’t_  be pregnant. I don’t have the organs for it! And–wha–Pitch? Is that what you’re saying? First of all, he didn’t do anything that could have made me pregnant even if I did have the organs for it! And when would this have been? Antarctica? Ask Baby Tooth about it, she was there the whole time…I mean…if this is a weird joke it’s kind of, um, astonishing that you would think of it and keep it going like this, but I still have been getting sick a lot and I’d like to know the real reason why…”  
  
Bunny raises his eyebrows. “Are you going to tell the Guardian of Springtime that he doesn’t know when someone’s pregnant or not?”  
  
“What the fuck.” Jack says quietly.  
  
“I’m going to call the other Guardians,” Bunny says, leaving Jack alone with his tea.  
  
***  
  
“This isn’t possible,” Jack says, for perhaps the tenth time, lying on the grass as Bunny carefully examines his abdomen.  
  
“Bunny would know,” Tooth says, “though it does seem…well…extremely unlikely.” Baby Tooth, at her shoulder, nods emphatically.  
  
“What do you plan to do?” North asks.  
  
“Uh, find out what’s really making me sick, because I can’t be pregnant, and Pitch can’t have impregnated me!”  
  
Sandy waves for their attention.  _It might have to do with the nightmare sand._  
  
“I’ve been watching people for three hundred years, and getting thrown into the side of a cliff after being bludgeoned with sand is NOT how people get pregnant!”  
  
Tooth puts a reassuring hand on Jack’s shoulder, and if he doesn’t relax, at least he quiets.  
  
 _The nightmare sand used to be dreamsand,_  Sandy continues signing.  _Dreamsand can be thought of as…_  The signs turn utterly untranslatable. Sandy shakes his head.  _As pure creative energy? If the nightmare sand retains that quality, I don’t doubt it could make anyone pregnant._  
  
“But Sandy, your dreamsand has never–” Bunny breaks off and rubs his temples. “Unless it has, and you just haven’t told us?”  
  
Sandy shakes his head with a wry smile.  _Fortunately, I know what I’m doing with the sand._  
  
Jack groans and throws his arm over his face, but only for a moment. “Wait a minute,” he says, sitting up. “This still has to be something else. Pitch slammed me with the nightmare sand, yeah, but he  _directly shot_  Sandy–uh, sorry to bring this up–”  
  
Sandy waves him on.  
  
“Okay–and when Sandy got here Bunny wasn’t all like ‘uh-oh, the big bad boogeyman touched you, didn’t he?’ So, like, this can’t relate to nightmare sand, and if nightmare sand is the only way I could have gotten pregnant, then I’m  _not_  pregnant and this is something else.”  
  
North nods. “The logic checks out.”  
  
“Look North, I’ve never been wrong about someone being pregnant in my life and you know it,” Bunny begins, when they all notice the thoughtful look on Sandy’s face.  
  
 _Bunny probably wouldn’t be able to tell if I was pregnant because of my dreamsand clothes,_  Sandy muses. He reaches for his collar, seems to remember something, and beckons Bunny to follow him behind a copse of trees.  
  
A minute or two later, Bunny swears loudly, and when he and Sandy return to the group, Bunny looks just about ready to go after Pitch himself. Sandy pats him on the leg–Jack thinks he’s taking this remarkably calmly, considering the obviously ancient feud between him and Pitch–and carefully reshapes his cravat before turning to Jack.  
  
“So. What are you both going to do?” North asks, seeming truly at a loss for once.  
  
 _Jack and I need to go find Pitch,_  Sandy signs.   
  
“In your condition–conditions?” Bunny asks, then throws up his hands. “Nope. Nope. Never mind. Instinct. But this isn’t a normal situation. Sorry. Do what you want! I’m going to–I’m going to make more tea! No, I’m going to make hot chocolate.” He continues muttering about the weird day as he steps inside his house.  
  
“Yeah, this is…wow.” Jack rests his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “I almost wish something more likely  _had_  happened, then–”  
  
Sandy laughs silently.  _Then we’d all have a lot more explaining to do!_  He rests his hand on top of his belly.  
  
Weird, Jack thinks, like he’s totally cool with having Pitch’s baby, if it even is a baby, and not some weird nightmare chestburster, which it probably is. “I meant,” said Jack, “that you wouldn’t be pregnant then.”  
  
Sandy’s face shifts from amusement to realization and he nods. He looks from Tooth to North.  _We still need to find Pitch, though. Do you have any objections?_  
  
North shakes his head. “You two are still the ones I have seen drive Pitch back in single combat.”  
  
Tooth nods in agreement. “Baby Tooth would also like to add that this reminds her of a TV show she saw late at night one time.”  
  
“Oh no,” Jack says, while Sandy laughs again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tags from Tumblr:
> 
> #will I ever write serious mpreg? #no


End file.
